Repetitive questions can be one of the most challenging behaviors caregivers face. The person you care for may ask the same thing over and over—sometimes within minutes. While it can be frustrating, understanding why this happens can help you respond with patience and kindness.
People with dementia repeat questions because:
- They forget they’ve already asked.
- They’re feeling anxious or insecure.
- They’re looking for reassurance or comfort.
- They’re struggling to process information.
1. Stay Calm and Patient
Hearing the same question multiple times can test your patience, but remember—it’s not intentional. The person you care for isn’t trying to frustrate you; their brain simply can’t hold onto the answer. Take a deep breath before responding.
Tip: If you feel your frustration rising, step away for a moment if it’s safe to do so. A short pause can help you reset.
2. Validate Their Feelings
Instead of focusing solely on the question itself, acknowledge the emotions behind it. If they keep asking, “When are we going home?” they may be feeling unsafe or unsure. Responding with validation can be more effective than simply answering.
Example: Instead of saying, “I already told you, we are home,” try, “I know home feels important to you. You’re safe here with me.”
3. Offer a Clear and Consistent Answer
If the question has a straightforward answer, provide it in a calm, reassuring tone. Keep your response short and simple.
Example: If they ask, “What time is dinner?” you can say, “Dinner is at 6 o’clock.” If they ask again, repeat the same phrase rather than changing how you say it. Familiarity can be comforting.
4. Use Visual Aids
Sometimes, a written or visual reminder can help reduce repetitive questions. Try using:
- A daily schedule on a whiteboard
- Sticky notes with key information
- A digital clock displaying the time and date
Example: If they keep asking, “When is my doctor’s appointment?” write it down and gently point to it when they ask again.
5. Redirect Their Attention
If a repetitive question stems from anxiety or restlessness, gently shifting their focus can help.
Example: If they keep asking, “Where is Mom?” but their mother is no longer alive, instead of saying, “Mom passed away,” try, “Tell me about your favorite memory with Mom.”
Engaging them in a different topic or activity can ease their anxiety and break the cycle of repetition.
6. Engage in a Calming Activity
Repetitive questions often increase when a person with dementia feels bored or unsettled. Providing engaging activities can help shift their focus.
Ideas:
- Look through a photo album.
- Listen to their favorite music.
- Give them a task, like folding towels or sorting objects.
Tip: Keep a list of go-to activities handy for moments when distraction is needed.
7. Assess Underlying Needs
Repetitive questions can sometimes be a sign of an unmet need, such as hunger, thirst, or discomfort. Check if they might need a snack, water, or a bathroom break.
Tip: If they keep asking, “Can we go now?” they might be feeling restless. A short walk or a change of scenery may help.
8. Adjust Your Responses Over Time
What works one day might not work the next. Be flexible in trying different approaches and see what brings them the most comfort.
Tip: If a particular phrase, activity, or response soothes them, make note of it and use it again in similar situations.
9. Take Care of Yourself Too
Managing repetitive questions can be emotionally draining. It’s okay to feel frustrated at times, but don’t forget to prioritize your own well-being.
Self-care ideas:
- Take a short break when possible.
- Talk to a friend or support group.
- Practice deep breathing or mindfulness techniques.
10. Remember: It’s About Reassurance, Not Just Answers
The person you care for may not be looking for an answer—they may be seeking connection, comfort, and security. Responding with warmth and patience can make a world of difference.
Final Thoughts
Handling repetitive questions with kindness can transform stressful moments into opportunities for connection. By staying patient, validating emotions, and using creative strategies, you can reduce frustration for both you and the person you care for.
Next Steps
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Notes:
- Alzheimer’s Association. (2024). Understanding Alzheimer’s and dementia: Common behaviors. Retrieved from https://www.alz.org
- National Institute on Aging. (2024). Caring for a person with Alzheimer’s disease or another dementia. Retrieved from https://www.nia.nih.gov
- Mayo Clinic. (2023). Dementia care: Tips for managing behavioral changes. Retrieved from https://www.mayoclinic.org
- Dementia Australia. (2023). Repetitive questioning and behavior. Retrieved from https://www.dementia.org.au
- Teepa Snow, Positive Approach to Care. (n.d.). Responding to repetitive questions. Retrieved from https://www.teepasnow.com
- Harvard Health Publishing. (2023). Dementia behavior management: Why repetition happens and how to help. Retrieved from https://www.health.harvard.edu
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