The holidays have a way of stirring up memories without warning. A familiar song, a certain taste, or even the feel of winter air on your face can pull you back to another time. When you are caring for someone living with dementia, these moments can feel tender and complicated. There is comfort in the traditions you grew up with, but there can also be grief when those traditions no longer fit your reality.
I think about the holidays of my own childhood. The sweet and tart taste of my grandmother’s cranberry sauce. Roger Whittaker playing on the record player in the living room. The excitement of opening one gift on Christmas Eve. The familiar ritual of my grandfather handing each of us a new pair of ice skates year after year. As an adult and a mom, I added my own traditions too. Every Christmas Eve, my kids get new pajamas. Every Christmas morning, we start the day with warm cinnamon rolls.
These are my memories. My sensory anchors. The things that defined the rhythm of the season for me. And I know that if I were caring for someone living with dementia today, many of these beloved rituals would need to shift. Not because they are no longer meaningful, but because meaning comes from how something feels, not from following every step exactly as it used to be.
That is what this week’s post is about. How to hold onto memories without holding yourself to impossible expectations. How to use sensory traditions to create gentle connection. How to modify rituals in ways that feel natural and supportive. And how to let the heart of the holiday season stay intact, even when routines need to change.
Why traditions feel different when dementia is part of the picture
Traditions give us a sense of continuity. They help us feel grounded, connected, and safe. But dementia changes how a person experiences the world. Noise can be overwhelming. Sudden changes can feel unsettling. Complex routines can lead to frustration or fatigue. The National Institute on Aging notes that simplifying holiday routines often helps people with dementia feel more secure and less overstimulated.
This does not mean that joy has to disappear. Instead, it means that we may need to pull traditions apart and rebuild them in a more gentle and sensory focused way. When we stop trying to recreate the entire holiday and instead focus on the pieces that actually held the meaning, we make more room for calm connection.
You do not have to let go of what matters. You just have to let go of the pressure to keep everything the same.
How senses help us hold on to what matters
Even when memory changes, sensory pathways tend to stay stronger. Taste, sound, touch, and scent often reach the person you care for more effectively than explanations. The Family Caregiver Alliance highlights that sensory cues can ease distress and create emotional recognition, even when verbal memory has shifted.
When I think back on my own childhood traditions, every memory ties directly to a sensory cue:
The sweet and tart taste of cranberry sauce.
Roger Whittaker singing from the record player in the corner of the living room.
The sound of wrapping paper tearing as I opened that one Christmas Eve gift.
The cold feel of a new pair of ice skates.
The softness of fresh Christmas pajamas.
The warm, sweet smell of cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning.
These sensory details are the parts that stayed with me. Not the timeline. Not the perfection. Not the logistics. Just the sensory moments that made me feel safe and connected.
If I were caring for someone living with dementia, these are the pieces I would pull forward. Not the whole event. Not the pressure of doing everything right. Just the sensory cues that hold the memory.
Modifying my own traditions as an example
Caregivers often feel guilty when they cannot keep every tradition going. I want to show you what it looks like to modify traditions without losing the heart of them. I will use my own traditions as a guide.
My grandmother’s cranberry sauce
Growing up, the thing I remember most was the taste. Sweet, tart, and bright. If I were caring for someone living with dementia, I would not make the full recipe. I would offer a small spoonful of warmed canned cranberry sauce so they could taste that familiar flavor without the work of a full holiday meal. The taste alone carries the memory.
Roger Whittaker on the record player
Music is one of the most powerful sensory anchors we have. If I were caring for someone with dementia, I would not try to recreate a whole playlist. I would start with one song. One voice. For me, that might be Roger Whittaker. For your family, it might be another artist. The goal is familiarity, not variety.
Opening one gift on Christmas Eve
Instead of a big, anticipatory moment, I would offer one small and simple gift. Something soft or familiar that feels good to hold. The heart of the ritual was the sense of pause before the holiday, not the wrapping or the buildup.
My grandfather’s tradition of gifting new ice skates
Buying skates every year would not make sense today, but the meaning behind the tradition was feeling seen and supported. I would echo that by offering something warm and comforting, like soft slippers or cozy socks. Not the literal tradition, but the emotional message behind it.
Christmas Eve pajamas for my kids
If I wanted to share this ritual with the person I care for, I would simplify it. I might lay the pajamas on their bed so they could feel the soft fabric. Or help them change into them slowly at a calm time of day. The goal would be comfort, not surprise.
Cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning
I love baking, but I would not make them from scratch. I would let the smell of warm cinnamon fill the kitchen, because that smell is the memory. A pre made pan or even a cinnamon scented candle could carry the same emotional weight.
When you break traditions down to the sensory pieces that actually mattered, you suddenly have flexibility. You get to keep the meaning without the stress.
Sensory rituals that support connection without overwhelm
If you want to create more meaningful moments this season, focus on small sensory rituals. They are easier for the brain to process and often more emotionally grounding.
Here are a few ways to bring gentle sensory connection into the holiday season.
Taste and smell
• Offer a small taste of a familiar holiday flavor, even if it is store bought.
• Use spices like cinnamon, vanilla, nutmeg, or cranberry to create warm, comforting scents.
• Warm a tiny amount of a holiday dish that mattered to your family so the person can taste or smell it.
Sound and rhythm
Music is one of the strongest memory cues we have. The World Health Organization notes that familiar music can reduce stress and support emotional connection.
Try playing one gentle holiday song during a calm moment.
Hum together.
Use instrumental versions if lyrics feel overwhelming.
Choose songs from your person’s young adulthood.
For me, it would be Roger Whittaker. His voice alone brings me back to childhood. You likely have an artist or song that does the same for you. Start there.
Touch and temperature
• Soft blankets in holiday colors
• Warm slippers
• Pajamas with comforting texture
• A warm mug to hold while sitting quietly
Even brief moments of touch can bring a sense of grounding.
Fresh activity ideas that go beyond typical holiday lists
Caregivers hear the same activity suggestions every year. Let’s offer ideas that are simple, realistic, and meaningful.
Activity 1: Sensory memory tray
Fill a small tray with items tied to your family’s story.
A cinnamon stick. A scrap of flannel fabric. A holiday card. A pinecone.
Let the person explore each item slowly. You can share a sentence or two about the memory connected to each one.
Activity 2: One song, one story
Pick one holiday song. Play it softly.
After the song ends, share one brief memory connected to it.
No pressure. The moment itself is enough.
Activity 3: Gentle baking moments
Let the person participate in one tiny piece.
Smelling vanilla. Stirring batter once or twice. Sprinkling cinnamon.
Focus on participation, not performance.
Activity 4: Coloring as connection and calm
Coloring is tactile, visual, and soothing. You can color side by side or let the person color at their own pace. It is also a great activity for visitors who want to be involved without overwhelming the person.
If you are looking for dementia-friendly holiday coloring books, check out my Etsy page: Click here
Activity 5: A sensory Christmas Eve ritual
Instead of a long evening full of stimulation, create a short sensory ritual.
One song. One soft pair of pajamas. One warm drink. One quiet moment of connection.
A letter to you, from me
If this season feels different.
If you notice a softness where excitement used to be.
If you find yourself grieving the gap between how the holidays used to feel and how they feel now.
You are not doing anything wrong.
Traditions are meant to evolve as life changes. You are allowed to shape the holiday in a way that protects both your energy and the comfort of the person you care for. You are allowed to choose small moments instead of big ones. You are allowed to slow down.
If all you manage this year is one quiet song, one calm cup of something warm, or one simple sensory ritual, that is enough. The holidays are not measured by productivity. They are felt in moments of connection, however brief and gentle they may be.
What truly matters this season
Meaningful moments happen when the pressure drops.
When you choose presence over performance.
When you honor the memories that shaped you but also give yourself permission to reinterpret them.
These small sensory anchors are what carry the meaning forward.
Not the big event.
Not the perfect holiday.
Just the heart of it.
Call to action
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Notes:
- Alzheimer’s Los Angeles. (2023). Holiday tips for caregivers. https://www.alzheimersla.org/holiday-tips-for-caregivers-2023
- Family Caregiver Alliance. (2025). Caregiving and the holidays: From stress to success. https://www.caregiver.org/resource/caregiving-and-holidays-stress-success
- National Institute on Aging. (2023). Caring for a person with Alzheimer’s disease. https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/alzheimers-caregiving
- World Health Organization. (2023). Dementia: Key facts. https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/dementia
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